From the recording The River Flows On
© Stanley Bellgard, Felix Guerrero, 2018
I had gone to visit Stan in Auckland, NZ and we were strumming guitars. He mused that Tolkien had a missing character from his tales. Despite Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, there was not really a dark hobbit. We thought long and hard, trying to discover what horrible trait would characterize a dark hobbit. A few days later, I was driving near Matamata, the filming location of Hobbiton in Sir Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies, when it hit me like a load of bricks and I nearly drove off the highway pavement. Of course! A dark hobbit would lust after and secretly wear shoes whilst ensconced in his hobbit hole!
Lyrics
Sing ye, hey-ho, A-derry-o! In a bit you'll feel the chill
From the tale of the dark hobbit.
With a drink, I say you will.
Well, you've heard of good ol' Frodo and his faithful servant Sam.
But I'll wager nein ever heard a line from a story e'er so grand.
Now them Brandybucks, Stoors, and Tooks and even the Proudfoots too
Never gave a flip or a flying Tuck 'bout a creature known as Shoe.
His Mum called him her Precious. Course, that just wasn"t right.
With a gleam so cold he'd play in his hole late into the night.
No telling how it first happened, how it popped into his head
First a little touch, then it turned to lust, what he did in his bed.
Tight like a glove, he would thrust and shove. It was stiff when he pushed it through.
But his soul was lost when he got across his toes inside that shoe. WHOO!
One night he wanted it badly, his toes were stiff and blue
Momma hobbit burst in, pitched a fit to see a hobbit wear a shoe.
Them Shire-folk didn't take kindly, so they gave the lad the boot
Even Sauron said, he's sick in the head. Nobody gave a hoot. HOOT!
I don't care what you might call it. The story I swear is true.
The Tale of the Dark Hobbit, the first to wear a shoe.
Sing, hey-ho, A-derry-o! In a bit you'll feel the chill
From the tale of the dark hobbit.
With a drink, I say you will.
Hey-ho, A-derry-o! In a bit you'll feel the chill
From the tale of the dark hobbit.
With a drink, I say you will.
Come sing ye, hey-ho, A-derry-o! In a bit you'll feel the chill
From the tale of the dark hobbit.
With a drink, I say you will.
Hey-ho, A-derry-o! In a bit you'll feel the chill
From the tale of the dark hobbit.
With a drink, I say you will.